Psalms

Ready

When I read Psalm 107:23-43 I original listened to it I sent it to a friend who was dealing with some things. I was reassuring her that God was going to give her peace in the midst of the storm. Little did I know that I needed this same scripture. It is really crazy how one scripture can mean 20 different things at the same time to different people in different situations.In one reading this scripture gave me comfort for a friend. In the next it gave strength, courage, and reassurance for myself.

I have been dealing with scouting out a new job for the coming year. I am not looking for a new career, per se, because I still love teaching but I need a break.  Whatever career I seek will require me to complete grad school. That will happen soon enough.

So why do I need strength and courage while searching for a job you ask?  Here’s the scoop: I have never had to actually use a resume I have written. Crazy, right? I am a professional educator and I have never even applied for a teaching job. God was good to me. When I graduated from college the school I student taught at hired right out the gate. No application no interview. When I started teaching at my current school I friend referred me and I interviewed with my 3 month old daughter in my lap wearing jeans and whatever shirt fit at the time postpartum. I got a phone call and was hired. Again, no application.

God is great that He opens doors for us even when we aren’t knocking. Now I am intentionally  knocking and I need a lot of updated keys to open these doors using resources that I haven’t updated or tapped into in a LONG TIME! Creating a document in which I have to SELL myself to someone else is overwhelming. I pretty much had a panic attack and pity party. I have never had to brag about what I have accomplished people always just saw it. I had to call my sister and a lady from church to look at my resume. I was defeated when I received their feedback. Asking for help is not easy for me. I tend to be a solve my own problems type of person. Being vulnerable is difficult when you are use to being the only one that sees it. I forced to see my weak areas through the eyes of others, soak it up, and deal with them head on.  I honestly felt defeated. I was really uncomfortable to the point that I had to step away and say, “You know what God? I’ll just stay at my current place and endure. I’m okay with just being there.”

When I stepped back and heard God say, “Just take the risk. Put in the work. Trust in me.”  I realized God had always done the grunt work for me and boy was I appreciative! But this time He wanted me to step into the storm and see and feel and learn all that happens in this process. To take the initiative. I stepped off the shore of calm and safe and walk out into the waters of uncertainty and uncomfortably and am just trusing Him to keep my sanity, nerves, pride, and so much more in tack.

No, I haven’t heard back from anyone yet but I stepped out on faith into the unknown, the chaos, and trust that God is going to protect me and provide for me. If nothing comes of the applications I know that I am prepared for the next door that God presents to me. I will have all the tools in my corner and the right mindset when the opportunities come.

The song “You Make Me Brave” has been ringing in my spirit in relation to this topic. Everyone’s bravery looks different for different situations and at different levels. My needs for bravery may be your areas of easy and vice versa. Just know that God will equip you with the resources you need to do what HE is calling you to do even if you do not understand we just have to step out.

Here’s to being brave in whatever uncertainty you are facing right now. God is there and HE will calm the storm for you just step out and trust Him.

-Ashley

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