I feel like the Prodigal Son returning back to his father’s house after being gone for a long time by my own doing. It has been a rough couple of months. I looked at my bible plan and realized I had missed 18 DAYS of reading at one point!! It took me a week to catch up. I heard all 18 days but I am not sure what exactly I learned. I caught up though, right?
I am trying to get myself together for this next chapter in life God is about to take me through. I have no idea what is going to happen, where I am going, what I will be doing, who I will be doing it with, how it is going to happen, or what I will be doing..but I am excited for the change all the same. I can FEEL the change coming but I am being left in the dark of all the details and being told just to trust God. I am not scared or nervous; I am just…waiting.
In my waiting I feel like I am being left with my thoughts and being forced to pray more than I want to and than I am use to. I am being forced to look at myself and reflect on conduct, thoughts, responses, and reevaluate ME and who I am in Christ and how I have failed as a child of God. I am being forced to judge myself, address my weaknesses, make them stronger, mend broken bridges, gain self motivation, and simply FIND ME.
Some of the questions I have had to ask myself are things like: What am I good at? What is my God given purpose? What talents and gifts am I not being a good steward of? Do I still want to teach? Do I quit my job and just pursue what God has placed in me? Am I good mother? How can I be a better mom?How can I be a better wife? Should I have really said that?Are you gossiping or seeking council? Why have you not matured passed this season yet? Am I giving more to others than my family? What more can I give to God? Why do i have to do this? Am I using wisdom when it comes to making my decisions or am I going off emotions alone? Am I using my time wisely?…Just to name a few.
In the midst of all these questions and my feeling of transition about to happen I heard this scripture in today’s reading, Luke 16: 10-12 (below). I pray that in this time of transition and preparing that God is preparing my next step for me. I pray that if I haven’t been faithful and consistent in certain areas of my life that that God will be gracious towards me. I pray that whatever areas I am lacking in that I use this time for preparing and growing for what God has in store for me. Increase my faithfulness and prepare me, Lord.
He who is faithful in what is least is faithful also in much; and he who is unjust in what is least is unjust also in much. 11 Therefore if you have not been faithful in the unrighteous mammon, who will commit to your trust the true riches? 12 And if you have not been faithful in what is another man’s, who will give you what is your own?